SAY AMEN: The Rest of The Story
May 9, 2009 by admin
Filed under Ginny's Journal
I don’t remember many things well, but I remember that day very clearly. It was near the end of January in 2007. It didn’t feel like winter outside…typical Tennessee weather.
Don Donahue (Rocketown Prez) and I spent the morning solving the problems of the world as we drove to Memphis to meet, for the first time, a young lady whose story had deeply impacted us both.
Several weeks earlier, Don had learned of Ronell Ragbir from a friend of his. Ronell was a twenty-year-old singer/songwriter from Trinidad with an amazing passion and depth, a wonderful way with words, and the fight of her life at hand. Ronell had been courageously waging war against cancer for five years and was likely nearing the end of her battle.
When Don learned that one of Ronell’s biggest dreams was to record her own project and perform a concert for her friends, he wanted to figure out a way to help. After sharing her story with me over the phone, I, too, was eager to do something to aid in this young lady’s dreams becoming reality. Neither Don nor I knew exactly how we’d help, so we were headed to visit Ronell in Memphis to figure it out.
We already knew that Ronell had many human Angels around her. Her Mother, Cammie, moved with her from Trinidad and took care of her round the clock. Singer/songwriter Bruce Carroll and his team at Hope church in Memphis were already facilitating the recording of her cd at their state-of-the-art studio. And Tom Bowen was the Angel who ultimately helped Ronell realize her dreams.
Having lost a young son to cancer several years prior, Tom and his wife Jennifer had begun dedicating much of their time to supporting and caring for other families with children fighting cancer. They’d known Ronell at St. Jude’s Hospital during the time that their son Ben was still alive, so needless to say, Tom did all but move Heaven and Earth to help Ronell share her heart with the world.
Don and I wanted to be Angels, too, I think. We never used that term, but we were so eager to do our part. On the other hand, I was a little apprehensive at exactly how I could help this special girl who had experienced more pain in the last five years than I’d known in my entire life.
What would I say? How could I be encouraging? Would my sense of humor be enough to minimize the awkwardness I felt—or to lighten the mood enough so that I wouldn’t break down in tears when I was around her?
And would she even like me? We were supposed to write and record a song together, but I knew she hadn’t heard much, if any, of my music, so I hoped she’d even want to work together.
I felt guilty for thinking about myself and my fears…anything I thought or felt paled miserably in comparison to the enormity of Ronell’s situation.
We all arrived at the restaurant at around the same time. Cammie and Tom got Ronell’s wheelchair out and placed her in it. Just inside, everyone officially met. Ronell immediately pointed out to me that the two of us together would make a great “whole person.” I could walk and she could see. I could push her chair around, and she could tell me where to go. It was her sharp wit that put us all at ease.
After lunch we headed for the Grove Studio, where Ronell and I would potentially write and record a song. I’d brought along a chorus that I’d written at least five years earlier. I’d always loved it, but had never been able to write verses by myself or with a co-writer. I didn’t know whether or not Ronell would even like the chorus well enough to work on the verses, but I had a hunch that if anyone could write lyrics to the verses, it would be Ronell.
And I was right. In thirty minutes, we’d completed “Say Amen.” A couple hours later, we’d recorded it. I was amazed at how this young woman, hooked up to all sorts of bags of medicine, sitting in her wheelchair, had the patience and strength to deliver such sweet, tender vocals.
During the next several months, we performed “Say Amen” together at several events and at Ronell’s wonderful concert—where 1500 people came to hear her.
Finally, I sang “Say Amen”at Ronell’s Memorial Service, one of the most challenging things I’ve ever had to do. Perhaps not as challenging as holding her hand as she lay in the hospital bed, talking to her, and hoping that she heard what I was saying. Perhaps it wasn’t as haunting as remembering the phone call I received several days before that, when she’d said, “I promise, Ginny; I’ll hold on until you get here.”
Needless to say, I was deeply moved and impacted by Ronell’s life. She lived each day to the fullest, but always with the hope of tomorrow in her heart. She had unshakable faith and complete confidence in God, His plans, and Heaven. But she was just as hopeful that healing would come, and that she’d perform music and write poetry for many years to come. I don’t yet know if I understand how she continued to hope in all directions, but she did. And I am changed because of her life.
I couldn’t sing “Say Amen” for awhile, nor could I write about Ronell. It was very difficult to know what to say or how to make sense of it all in my head. I now know that it simply wasn’t time to share what I’d learned from Ronell, because I had much more to learn about saying amen.
Almost a year to the date of learning Ronell’s story, I received another phone call—and heard another story—this one much closer to home. My Mom had undergone some tests, and they’d found cancer.
As I prepared to move home to be with my Mom through her chemo, surgery, and radiation treatments, I lived with that unsettled feeling of dread that lingers in the pit of the stomach. I could not hide from this, nor could I make it go away. I could not do my part by writing songs with her, calling to talk, or posting the news on my website and asking everyone to pray.
I had to simply go and be there…right in the middle of it. It was the only thing to do. The next nine months would prove to be some of the most challenging of my Mother’s life. The first rounds of chemo had especially cruel side effects. She lost her long hair and then her eyebrows. She was forced to exchange her very full and active life for resting on the couch or in bed. And I couldn’t do a thing to make it better. I could not give her answers for why this was happening, and I could not make the pain go away.
So I did what I could…I listened, made lots of watered-down lemonade drinks, handled the laundry, and cleaned the kitchen. It was a helpless time for both of us. I wanted to take on the cancer for her, so she wouldn’t have to deal with it. She wanted to feel like herself again and get back out on the tennis court.
Although we spent lots of time praying for strength and healing, I don’t think either one of us could imagine getting through this valley and finding ourselves celebrating on the other side. I have no doubt that the prayers and encouragement of family members and dear friends pulled us through.
Gracious miracles do indeed happen. After chemo, surgery, more chemo, and radiation, my Mom is cancer-free. She has resumed her fast-paced life-swimming, playing tennis, working too hard, and making sure I behave myself. (That’s when I knew it was OK for me to move back home to Nashville.) The support she received from so many still humbles both of us. The fact that she is doing so wonderfully fills me with immense gratitude for God’s grace.
I’ve finally felt like it is the appropriate time to share “Say Amen” once more. My Mom never heard it when I sang it with Ronell, but now that she knows the lyrics, she says that she wished she could have had it to listen to this time last year.
My prayer is that this song—and the rest of the record—will bring hope to your heart, and to the hearts of those you know who might be suffering. I continue to be in awe of how precious life is and how little control we have over it. In my darkest hours or my brightest moments, I hope that I will always be able to say, “Amen” and encourage others to do the same.
Ginny,
Thank you for this beautiful blog. It is beautifully written and expressed, and really hit home for me right now as we are dealing with a family member who has had cancer and is now dealing with it again.
You are so right when you say there is no going around it, the only thing to do is go through it. And so we will.
I cannot wait to hear “Say Amen”
Thank you.
Hey Ginny!
I’m finally figuring out how this newsletter works. Thanks for sharing this story. It is so encouraging to know how God can work even through the hard times of life, and that there is still hope even when we’re not sure it’s there.
I wish I had known what was going on during that time when your mom was going through treatment; perhaps I could have given some help or done more than just sending a couple of emails.
It is always great to hear how God is continuing to work in your life and ministry.
Tell your mom I said Hi.
Holly E
I just read your say amen post and wanted to share that I can relate to your story. I am 32 years old and live in central Illinois. I work as an occupational therapist. In Dec. of 2007 my mother was diagnosed with cancer. She was 52 years old. Her cancer was aggressive and she lived only 7 months. Since she lived alone, and I am still unmarried without children, I stayed with her took care of her in her last days…through the chemotherapy and surgeries. My brother and I were holding her in our arms when she died at home in her bedroom. During that time I found that it was difficult to even know if God was listenening. There were so many questions. But also during that time I met so many “angels” who gave their time and hearts to help my mother and I get through that time. The hospice nurses, friends, neighbors, and family. No matter what the ending, it’s a blessing to know there are other people in the world who really care, and that’s how God made it clear to me that he was there….working through them. I played “Remember Me” at mom’s service, the song by you and Mark Schultz. It was beautiful. Thanks for sharing your story Ginny, and you are an angel too.
Amen!
Hi Ginny
This is such a touching story for an incredible song. This morning at Living Hope Church, just before singing this, you mentioned a little bit about how the song came to be written, but how interesting and moving to read all the details!
I very much enjoyed getting to know you today and felt honored to be able to spend so much time with you and have a few quick meals together. Seriously…next time you’re in town, James and I are totally going to take you out for some great food! I felt like I’ve known you for years, and I look forward to spending time with you in the future. Thank you for the CD, and for your beautiful gift of music. You are a blessing.
Jill
Hey Ginny! I appreciate your humility in sharing this story – there is so much more to share that would encourage many. Tomorrow (June 7th) will mark two years since Ronell said “Amen” and left this world. She is all better now!
Talk with you soon,
Tom, Jennifer and the Bowen crew
Ginny,
I had no idea about your mother’s recent illness until I stumbled upon your website tonight. We are so thankful that she is doing better!!! Please give her our love and let her know that we will be praying for her. We’ve been praying for you ever since we found out you were a recording artist and saw your concert in Rock HIll, SC, at a local school (do you remember that?)! We are blessed to have known you and are so thankful for your ministry…….it is truly an inspiration. May God bless you richly, sweet lady, as you move forward in service for Him!
With much love,
The Fastenau Family
Ginny ~ thank you for writing this song! So many threads come through my story and your story…everything from St. Jude’s to losing someone close to you to waiting on God’s timing. My sister lost her daughter after only 61 minutes of life one month ago today & we are all still fresh in our grief. I stumbled upon this song, the Fingerprint Initiative website, listened to the song (crying!!!!! I love it!), and simply have been searching for a release date. I’ve already search iTunes & googled it & searched the website…I can’t find it! Could someone please let me know the release date of this CD as I want it IMMEDIATELY to give to my sister. Your song, “The Road,” has also helped her and she just referenced it in her latest posting on her daughter’s website…www.forsydney.net Hope someone can let me know the release!!! Thanks so much!
Hi Ginny,
Even as the family now listens to this song that have be inspried and written by you and my beloved daughter who has now earn her weeks approximately twenty-eight months now, we feel a sense of happiness in her absence. She has passed on but her legacy and achievements remain testimony to her life. Hearing her voice continues to bring joy to our hearts.
with lots of love
the ragbir family
we appreciate all you have done to get this song out there. thank you.
Dear Ginny,
I was so blessed to be able to see you Saturday (05 DEC 09) at Johnson Ferry Baptist Church, in Marietta, GA. I am thankful that God has given you a heart to share your story and His love with words and songs. My prayers are with you in and for your ministry.
Love in Jesus,
Elizabeth
I just got your new cd and heard “Say Amen” My daughter in law was diagnosed with MS in Jan. and the next day her nephew who is the cousin of my grandson (they are both 5) was diagnosed with stage IV lymphoma. After the prayers of many prayer warriors they are both hanging on. Neither are believers or from a background of faith, but My husband and I ARE and will never let go, AMEN!
In spite of all of that, when I heard this the first person I thought of was a dear friend of mine who has been struggling in her marriage for some time. She keeps trying to remember to “give it to Jesus” and my heart made me reach out to her to send her THIS song!
Ginny,
I stole your CD from my sister, Stephanie, over Christmas and just wanted you to know that “Say Amen” has carried me through the past several months. My dad had a stroke in February, and on my travels to and from the hospital I would play this song on repeat in the car.
Thank you for blessing me!!
Hello Ginny,
I am a totally blind college student. I have been blind since birth, and I have been singing since I could talk. I play piano and guitar, and I entered college hoping to pursue a career in music. Unfortunately the music department at my university refused to work with me, and I ended up changing career paths. I love your music, and I know all of your songs. I was first introduced to your music around thanksgiving of 2007 by a friend who wanted me to know about you because of our similar circumstances, and I have to tell you that your music has carried me through the good times and the bad times. I love wonderful wonder, this road, own me, I am, true story, say amen, and of course be thou my vision. Thank you for sharing your gifts that God has given you, and thank you for showing me that God is in control.
Love,
Kolby
Hi Ginny,
Say Amen is my favorite song on this CD. I have played it over and over…
Today is the first time I have found your journal page. I am totally overwhelmed by reading how this came to be. I can reflect back on the struggles with Tayloe, although it has been 8 years this past Father’s Day, that he passed away.
The countless years, months, days, hours, minutes, we spent taking care of him as he faught to overcome his battle with Lou Gherig’s Disease. You are right.. just being there sometimes, is all one can do. We were so fortunate to have so many to do just that….
I still struggle daily, as do both of my girls. Perhaps Say Amen is something that I will encourage them to listen to daily as we remember Tayloe.
For myself, I thank you for sharing how it came to be. It has been a blessing to me… Especially now that I know why it touched me from the first time I heard it.
I would love to see you when in Jackson,
Best Regards and Love to you,
Kim Simmons Kern
My mom could have not said it any better everyday is so hard for me as a 22 year old to deal with the death of a parent but this song Ginny makes m so happy I do app I can to live out my fathers legacy and it is going to be hard but I hope me day I can be half the man he was and this song makes me realize even more how important it is to take the hard times… Look up at God and say Amen bc I would not be half the person I am today if I had not gone through what I did with my daddy. I would love to get a few of your CDs for some of the people I work with who totally associate with this song!!! Let me know if u can send me some!!
much love and hope to see you soon
love you much
Elizabeth Clark simmons